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NFL Head Coach Treats Team's Australia Trip Like Classified Military Operation

The head coach of a prominent NFL franchise refused to confirm or deny whether his organization is aware that Australia exists, sources reported Tuesday. When asked about the team's potential travel plans to the continent, the coach stared silently at reporters for four seconds before responding that he was focused on the next game. A follow-up question about whether players had been issued passports was met with the coach noting that he does not comment on documents. League sources confirmed the team has, in fact, booked flights, reserved hotels, and printed 14,000 T-shirts reading 'NFL Down Under,' but the coach maintained that any discussion of hemispheres would be a competitive advantage for opponents. 'We treat our travel itinerary the same way we treat our playbook,' said a team spokesperson, adding that the coaching staff had also declined to confirm whether the earth is round.

Riffing on real coverage: Sean McVay declines to discuss Rams' plans for Australia travel